The Cult of The Bitches

 

So it is descision time for little old me.

Yup it’s that definition thing again which I haven’t solved yet.

Where do I fit.

What cult do I join.

How do I define Myself

Just lately I have noticed a new cult – fad – trend spring up around the Internet and spilling over into reality land.

Just what is this new cult you ask.. It is 

“the cult of the bitches”.

Well the first cult I had to take a loook at of course is the cult of the bitches.

Do I define myself as a bitch

Do I call myself a bitch

Am I a bitch.

I was getting all excited at this point and started making some plans for my admission to Bitch-hood

   

How do i join Bitch hood?

Does it cost much to be a bitch?

Is there an annual fee for the Bitch hood?

Are there bitch razing rites?

Is there a list of bitch tasks I have to accomplish?

How long do I have to have been a certified bitch for?

Do I have to state my bitchness in a 2000 word application essay?

Do I have to submit a list of bitch acts I have ever carried out?

How is bitchiness scored?

Well before I even think about applying I best wander off to get the exact definition of “bitch” so that I can work out if I at least stand a chance of being admitted to this new found Bitch Hood craze.

So hi ho hi ho its off to dictionary.com we go ….



to figure out just what a bitch is to see if I fit..

The cult of the bitches.

BUT WAIT

Isn’t this a bitch?

Now I am Puzzled

Let’s see the definition of Bitch then…

 

bitch          – Show Spelled Pronunciation[bich] Pronunciation Key
–noun
1.    a female dog.
2.    a female of canines generally.
3.    Slang.
a.    a malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, esp. a woman.
b.    a lewd woman.

 

A bitch is a dog……..OMG  a slobbering, smelling, flea ridden dog that barks, bites and leaves their smelly shit around everywhere….. I’m not liking this bitch idea by this point…….

 

Best I go find another definition  

 

oops I’m liking this less and less

bitch         (b–ch)  Pronunciation Key
n.
1.    A female canine animal, especially a dog.
2.    Offensive
a.    A woman considered to be spiteful or overbearing.
b.    A lewd woman.
c.    weak or contemptible.

 

Ok what is this lewd?

 

What is this lewdness that is a definition of a “bitch”.

 

Best I go back to dictionary.com

 

lewd          – Show Spelled Pronunciation[lood] Pronunciation Key – Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective -er, -est.
1.    inclined to, characterized by, or inciting to lust or lechery; lascivious.
2.    obscene or indecent, as language or songs; salacious.
3.    Obsolete.
a.    low, ignorant, or vulgar.
b.    base, vile, or wicked, esp. of a person.

  1. bad, worthless, or poor, esp. of a thing.

I don’t have a clue what the T-shirt above reads
but it’s something about a bitch Im guessing

 

 Ok so now finally after 41 years of life I know what a bitch is –  So

 I would be guessing we get different degrees of bitchiness after all we have

 

Mongrel bitches
Bitches in heat
Rabid bitches
Stupid bitches
Dirty bitches
Skanky Bitches
Feral Bitches
Smelly Bitches
Filthy Bitches
Manky Bitches

 

oh the list goes on .. and on..

Holy Bitchfests Batman

So Am I a Bitch

Can I be a card carrying member of the Bitch Hood..

NO

After careful consideration I regret to inform the world that I cannot fill the position of bitch. I am sorry I am just not a dog. I am afraid I don’t fit the criteria of  being lewd, base, vulgar, bad, worthless, obsolete, indecent, salacious, lascivious, weak, spiteful offensive or overbearing  and I certainly don’t rut around in the gutter.

and peoples.. as much as I would like to be able to lick my own pussy….

Sadly I just can’t reach.

Ok it’s time for me to wander off back to the dictionary.

Maybe I am a woman.

If I am not a bitch I might just be a woman

But

What is a Woman

How do we define a Woman

 

A Woman

 

A woman is soft and curvaceous. Warm and giving. Hot and sensual.

;

A woman is a nurturer and fiercely protective of those she loves.
A woman is a lioness and a kitten.
A woman is a mother, a partner, a lover, a wife, a daughter, a gran, aunt, cousin,  & a niece.

A woman is kind
A woman is Firm
A Woman is  friend
A woman Cares

 

A woman can accomplish success in whatever she turns her hand to.
A woman is full of passion and ecstasy.
A woman is sleek and sexual.
A woman listens and helps others.

A woman is strong.
A woman is capable.
A woman is smart and intelligent.
A woman can multi task and think quickly and react with speed.
A woman is powerful with resilience and endless amounts of stored reserves.
A woman never gives up and keeps on going onwards and upwards.

 

 

A woman feels deeply, emotionally and can express those emotions.
A woman helps and is helped.
A woman aids and a woman supports.
A woman desires and is desired.
A woman wants and is wanted.

A woman is who SHE wants to be
A woman does what SHE wants in life.

 

A Woman supports the dreams and hopes of those around her.
A woman walks tall with pride and yet is humbled by the universes magic.
A woman knows her assets and realizes she has flaws.
A woman accepts herself, flaws and all.
A woman enjoys life and enjoys other lifes.
A woman is enjoyed by others.

 

 

A Woman Sees
A Woman Feels and Touches
A Woman Scents
A Woman Speaks
A Woman Listens

A woman is warm, compassionate, curious with an unquenchable thirst for life.
A woman is a delight.
A woman feels pain but still carries on.
A woman gets knocked down but still stands back up time and time again.

A woman hurts, a woman bleeds but a woman heals herself and others.
A woman knows how to give and a woman knows how to take.
A woman is knowedgeable.
A woman remembers.
A woman forgives and forgets.
A woman is staunch.
A woman respects and is respected.

 

A woman is nice but knows when to stand her ground.
A woman stands up for what she believes in.
A woman defends her family and friends.
A woman knows when to create and when to destroy

 

A woman is artistic and creative and intuitive.
A woman uses logic and reasoning.
A woman is spiritual.
A woman cares and is cared for. .

A woman is fresh as spring, burns like fire, as cold as ice and floats like the wind. 

 A woman loves and is loved.

A woman is many Scents

A woman is many Colors

A woman is cuddly

A woman creates new life from within.
A woman accepts others for their uniqueness.
A woman defends her friends and holds friendship in high regard.

A woman Achieves

A woman is the lunar tides

Woman is Water  Woman is Earth

A woman burns and yet soothes
A woman changes withe the wind and the sea
A woman is thunder and lightning

A woman is a flowing river of life
A Woman Smolders
A woman is a diamond
A woman is all
A woman is nun

A woman is a pearl

A woman has many facets

 

A woman is proud to be a woman

A Woman is Endless Spirit.

A woman is Me – A Woman is You – A Woman is Woman

You bitches can keep your shit in the kennel

where it belongs

You see in this world

There are real men
There are real women

and then there are bitches…

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