If I Was A Man For a Day

If I Was A Man For a Day

I wrote this blog in 2008 inspired by a lovely American Lady Blogger
Sandie Candie Ryan
I love me some Sandie Candie
She makes it fun around here for sure
Every time I read her blogs
I roll around laughing on the floor
She is always Bright and Bubbly
and loyal to all those that she’s met
Sandie Candie Keeps on smiling
and spreading joy about the net

 

If I was a Man For a Day

 

If I was a man in this wild land 
I most certainly would have some fun
I would grow some hairy manboobs
and show them off out in the sun
I would chat up all the ladies
leer and grope and squeeze their bum
I would swear and cuss and curse alot
and get rolling drunk from skolling rum

I would Scratch my balls

Ensuring I cocked one leg and screwed up one eye while attempting this.

Stand up to do a pee

shake him and leave yellow Pee dots on the seat

Leave the toilet seat up

Put the lid up after I poop and not replace the empty toilet roll

Bring mud on my boots into the house

and then take my boots off in the living room and leave them there.

Refuse to wash the dishes

and definitely don’t scrape my plate scraps into the bin.

Walk out and go to the pub when the kids are screaming

and have a quiet game of drunken darts

Have a “wank” or “pull my pud”

making sure I stick the centrefold pages of playboy together

Walk around with no shirt on all day

and flex my muscles in the mirror, sucking in my gut for the side view

Get a head job

and make her swallow

Go to the pub with the boys after work

and come in rolling drunk about 2 am

Stay up all night playing video games

and leave beercans and full ashtrays along with a sleeping buddy or two in the living room

Spend two hours on the toilet farting loudly and moaning

while reading last years daily newspaper

make sure I didn’t use the toilet brush afterwards

Sleep in of a morning and not get up to the kids

and tell the wife to keep them quiet I have a big night ahead

Have dinner waiting for me on the table when I walk in the door

and expect a cold beer sitting next to it

Surf for porn on the net all night

and hang pinups of a very washed up Jenna Jamieson

Shave my whiskers

Then slather aftershave with pieces of toilet paper stuck onto my missed bits

Roll over after sex and start snoring

and make her sleep in the wet spot

pee on the tree

while whistling stread legged and looking up at the sky

Walk around with a hairy plumber crack

Ensuring I have a good old scratch every now and then

Wear a only a pair of boxers down to the corner shop to get the milk in the morning


Said Boxers must be black satin and display red devils on them

and finally I would spend the last few hours as a man in jail because I would just have to

Flash Someone

 

 

So now you know everything I would do in my life as a man for 24 hours.

So I ask you. If you were the opposite sex for 24 hours What wouldn’t you do.

I know I wouldn’t fix the car
or hammer nails in

What wouldn’t you do?

Would you take the opportunity to have sex with someone as the opposite sex?

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