Top Blogging

Mayet’s tribute to the Lost and sadly missed  Myspace Blogosphere which contain some of the most genius creative

thought provoking funny writing ever seen and published in this suppressed world we live.

Top Blogger

I’ll never be a top blogger
and have the fans fall at me feet
I won’t attract all those stalkers
who follow bloggers like dogs on heat

I’m slow to get to comments
because i’m outside chasing pigs
and breathing in the farm fresh air
while watching birds who sit on twigs

I’ll never be a top blogger
cos I won’t refresh my blogs
or fawn to 8000 readers
while i pull my pud and have a flog

I can’t blog of a boring life
or the farts I do at night
when dining out to dinner
with a date to smell my plight

I’ll never be a top blogger
cos i blog all about the place
one day i’ll be writing poetry
the next I’m posting off my face

I don’t have a photographer
to take sexy shots of me all day
to stick up on my profile page
to make my readers swoon and sway

I’ll never be a top blogger
cos I can’t crawl up your ass
I’m too busy having arguments
about anorexic people smoking grass

I can’t post the waffling comments
that tell you how good you are
when the truth in fact is different
I think your head belongs in a jar

I’ll never be a top blogger
even though I know my work is good
I can’t play the game of bullshit
but behind my work I always stood

I can’t login for 24 hours
just to build a social set
or to tell people that i love them
though their face i’ve never met

I’ll never be a top blogger
and that’s the truth of that
but the day i do make the ranks
i swear i’ll eat my hat

I’ll take lots and lots of screenshots
and post them on my blogs
then sit back and bathe in the glory
and then I WILL go and have a flog

I’ll then be a top blogger
one of the highest ranking here
even though in real life
I sit and get fat from drinking beer

I’ll write to the TV stations
and offer myself for show
they can use my huge blog ratings
and I’m sure their load will blow

I be the best at being top blogger
and take my shirt off in the sun
and pose to be a ball girl
Im sure thats a lot of fun

I’ll grow a fake persona
and begin to think it’s really me
I’ll become a total asshole
and cause drama that you’ll see

(pic coming)

so my dream of being a top bogger
is not really truly real
because I can only blog my blogs
of things inside that I strongly feel

So instead of being a top blogger
I think i’ll just be just be me myself
and I’ll wander through the rankings
like a commando switched on stealth…

 

 

 

 

 

Featuring the Myspace 2008 blogosphere’s Top Bloggers Shirtless John, Superjabs, Oz (Solomon Grundy) and Stephanie

by the bottom Blogger and South Pole Santa = Mayet

 

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